Meditation and a Vision

“But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night” (Ps. 1:2).

To meditate:  To be attentive to God in order to see Him as He is and in turn, see ourselves in light of God’s revealed word.  We meditate to give God’s Word the opportunity to penetrate not just our minds, but our hearts, our emotions – the places where we hurt, and our will – the place where we make choices and decisions. 

“Be still and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10).

How desperately I need to find myself lost in God’s presence every day and to allow His love to surround me as He reveals Himself to me afresh.  There are times that life is downright confusing and I seriously question if everything is going to turn out all right and God assures me it will if I follow Him.  I tell Him that I need His help and He knows; that’s why He meets with me and asks me just to sit with Him for a while and to remember that He is God. I hear Him ask me if I trust Him.  I tell Him I want to and He says I have to let Him work and that it will require my cooperation; that He will give me the strength, but I have to be willing to set my own will aside.  I ask Him how I do this, for this is not an easy task.  “Come to Me everyday and lay everything at My feet.  Leave your every thought and concern with Me and I will care for you.”  He reminds me through a song that I don’t understand the fullness of His love and how He died upon the cross for my sin; that I don’t realize how much He gives me and how He would do it all again just to be with me.  He has done everything.  There is no price He did not pay; He gave His life away just to be with me.  Why at times do I feel so numb to that breathtaking truth?  Is my heart that calloused?  Have we as believers heard the story so many times that it has lost its depth of meaning?  I am ashamed by my lack of emotion at times when I think about His death and resurrection and feel that if I really grasped its awesome truth, my life would look so very different.

I want to see Him - I mean really see Him.  I want all that His is to penetrate my heart to its core and not leave me unchanged.  Nothing in life should matter as long as I am with Him.  I want Him to be my hearts one and only desire.  I ask Him to teach me how to live and walk with Him - He gives me a picture – a vision of sorts.  We are walking on a road together and I do not know where we are going but I don’t need to because He is there; we are together and that is all I want – all that matters.  But then I see things I want to bring along; things I feel I need on my journey - things I’ve been searching for all my life.  He tells me no – that I need to trust Him to provide; that I am not meant to take these things for myself but I am convinced this is it so I take what I want and it seems so perfect but what I thought I desperately needed soon becomes heavy and slows me down.  I have to work extra hard to try and keep up with my Lord but I find myself quickly falling behind.  I stumble and I fall; I’m so weary but I don’t want to let go - I need these things.  I hear the Lord calling for me - He’s calling my name – He sounds so excited and tells me to come quickly, you must see this; leave everything behind and hurry before you miss it.  I pause and in that moment of hesitation I see a multitude of creatures approaching me from all directions whispering enticing lies vying for my attention and devotion.  They begin grabbing at me and the load I’m carrying.  I try to fight them off but by this time I have little strength left.  Is it too late to escape, I wonder?  I cry out for the Lords help.  I yell out His name telling Him I need courage and strength to let go of what I’m holding onto.  I tell Him that I want Him; that I just want to enjoy His presence again and the freedom that comes from walking in His ways but I’m so weak – I can’t do it on my own.  I see Him come running down the path for me as I continue calling out for His help.  He speaks something I do not understand and shackles of heavy chains fall off my wrists and ankles; the creatures disperse and run for cover and my Lord picks me up in His arms - His eyes filled with both pain and love and asks me in a gentle voice if I’m ready to come with Him – if I’m ready to trust Him.  All I can do is shake my head in agreement as I lay my head against His chest.  As I hear the beating of His heart I feel peace once again – I know that I am where I belong – I am home.

Now to make it more than just a vision...

“Teach me, O LORD, the way of Your statutes, And I shall keep it to the end.  Give me understanding and I shall keep Your law; Indeed I shall observe it with my whole heart.  Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, For I delight in it.  Incline my heart to Your testimonies, And not to covetousness.  Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, And revive me in Your way.  Establish Your word to Your servant.  Who is devoted to fearing You.  Turn away my reproach which I dread, For Your judgments are good.  Behold I long for Your precepts; Revive me in Your righteousness.  Let Your mercies come also to me, O LORD” (Ps. 119:33-41).